Horsin’ Around

As you may know, the City of Burbank recently knuckled under to one-percenter pressure and banned bicycles from the Mariposa bridge over the LA River. You now can’t even dismout and push them across: bicycles are not allowed in any way, shape, or form on this bridge. The reason: fear that they will “spook” the horses ridden by the ultimate in self-entitled privilege junkies, the Equestrian-unAmerian community infesting Riverside Drive. Yes, from up on their skittish beasts, they literally look down on everyone. So, no bikes on the bridge. Even though, according to a 1938 Burbank Daily Review article quoted in an LA Times’ report, this bridge “would be for ‘only equestrians, cyclists and hikers.'”

None of that mattered to the present-day pseudo-centaurs growling out bike hate: their horses are just too nervous to be anywhere near a bicycle. Somehow, though, horses have been trained to go calmly into war for millennia. Yes, they can put up with flying bullets, arrows, and spears, flashing swords and bayonets, roaring cannons, and screams of rage and agony all around, but they can’t see a bicycle without suffering a heart attack. Maybe modern-day equestrians are just too lazy to train their beasts?

In another extralegal assumption of privilege, horsie folks actually made up their own official-looking signs “banning” bikes from the bridge long before Burbank’s city council (which had originally approved a cyclists-dismount provision) finally gave in to their relentless kvetching. No surprise: I’ve actually had horse people teel me that hiking was prohibited on Sierra trails for the same reason. You know, just plain walking. This was untrue, by the way.

The equestrians’ main argument is that bikes are prohibited on the dirt trails of Griffith Park, to which the bridge leads. This is true. But, a few feet from the park end of the bridge is a paved trail (AKA a “road”) where bikes are permitted, and could be walked to. And, of course, the LA River bike path will soon be extended past the bridge.

However, as CiclaValley reports, last night the very same Burbank city council met to consider accepting Metro funds to build a bicyclist- and pedestrian-only bridge about half a mile west of Mariposa, connecting Bob Hope Drive to the park side of the river. This is in anticipation of the bike path extension.

No word yet on the results of this august body’s deliberations. Maybe they’ll quit horsin’ around and allow all the city’s denizens free access to the river and Griffith Park. Maybe they’ll cower in fear of the stirrup set again and let the opportunity pass them by.

We’ll just have to wait and see.

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